Appreciation

Every once in a blue moon I get these crazy ideas. I might even go so far as to say epiphanies. Yes, epiphany. I get epiphanies, or have an epiphany, I’m not sure which. At any rate, I recently had one such experience. It happened in the way that I imagine most people experience epiphanies: unexpectedly and without any good reason. I believe I was home alone having just finished a movie. I’m not even sure that there was a particular event that may have led up to or caused this sudden revelation, it just happened, and to be perfectly honest, it was really quite simple, as I believe to be the nature of most epiphanies; never too deep or profound, just a simple truth coming to light. In fact, this bit of information may not mean a thing to you. You may move on and not think twice about ever having heard it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and have tried constantly to apply it to my everyday life. So are you ready? Are you ready for this life-changing thought? Alright, here it is:

What if, instead of constantly being critical of other people and finding all of their faults, we appreciate them for who they really are?

Bam. I said it. Feeling enlightened yet? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But just hear me out, allow me to elaborate a bit.

Now, I realize that this so-called revelation is a hypothetical question rather than a solid piece of truth, but that’s because, honestly, it isn’t a reality for most of us. I’d like to think of this as more than just wishful thinking and more so as a tangible way of living for those of us who follow Christ.

I would like to clarify by saying that I am not talking about an individuals’ lifestyle and/or doctrine. That’s not it at all. I believe that, according to 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, we are to judge our brothers to see that that their lifestyle is matching their doctrine, and to bring correction when necessary (2 Tim. 3:16-17). That I do not question. What I am referring to however is a persons likes and dislikes, their personality, the things that make a person who they are.

I believe what brought this on was the realization or perhaps the feeling that, around certain people, I couldn’t be myself. I couldn’t be who I know I really am without feeling judged. I realize this may sound incredibly elementary and perhaps even insecure or childish, but I believe it is a reality for more of us than we may be willing to admit.

Let me also clarify by saying this: I am not insecure (well, I’m sure I probably am in some ways, in fact I’m almost certain of it, but that’s another issue for another day). This is not a matter of me having hurt feelings or being “mad at the world” either. I guess it just saddens me to see so much focus on the things we dislike about the people around us rather than taking the time to notice the differences, the uniqueness, the specialties, if you will, of each person. It’s so easy for us to poke fun at people or criticize them simply because we don’t like the same things or speak the same way or come from the same background. To avoid being too vague, let me attempt to give some specific examples.

Let’s take my own household, for instance. I’m not sure I could be living with a more opposite group of people than I live with right now. Take Anthony Conrad for example. He’s from Baltimore. East Coast Guy. He’s loud, boisterous, he doesn’t hold back, he reacts strongly to everything, making him the most entertaining person to watch a movie with that I’ve ever known. Definitely not like me. Or how about Ronnie Walker? He’s from Alaska, totally into rap/hip-hop, fantasy novels, movies like The Fast and The Furious and Bad Boys, and could spend hours on end listening to sermon podcasts. Also not me. Then there’s Brant Shumate, farmer boy from Kansas, quiet and reserved unless you’re a close friend, wannabe daredevil, blunt, straight-to-the-point kind of guy. Luke Webster, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania man and proud of it. This guy is basically the poster child for NPR and the world of indie music. If it’s obscure or out of the ordinary he’s probably a fan of it. He’s the kind of person most of us would describe as “artsy-fartsy”. And last but certainly not least, TJ Welch. TJ is the kind of person who himself is incredibly private and is not going to share anything personal unless you’ve sworn a blood pact with him, and at the same time he thrives off of pointing out the personality quirks in other people. Truth be told, if you don’t know TJ well enough, he can come off as downright offensive. Logic is TJ’s best friend. If something cannot be logically argued, it’s not worth discussing to begin with.

I say all of that to say this: there are so many things about each person that are unique and worth enjoying and appreciating, but instead we spend so much time criticizing our differences. That’s what hit me that day alone in my house. How much more could I appreciate the people in my life if I would stop trying to change them into another me and simply appreciate them for who they are. No, I don’t like a lot of the music Luke likes, or any of the movies Ronnie likes, and yes, sometimes even holding a civil conversation with TJ is in and of itself a challenging activity, but that shouldn’t make me like or appreciate them less. Rather, I should say, “You know what, man, even though I don’t care one bit about such-and-such, I really appreciate the fact that you are so passionate about it”, or realize that, hey, you know what, so-and-so is loud and sometimes obnoxious, and yeah, maybe some of it is probably a maturity issue, but for the most part, that’s just who he is, and just because he’s a loudmouth, that shouldn’t make you dislike him, because truth be told, he probably thinks you’re pretty boring! You see how that works?

There are so many things that each one of us has to offer to one another, so much we can contribute with our different personality types, dispositions, opinions, points-of-view, experiences, likes and dislikes. I just wish we could all see that in one another. I don’t want to have to live my life feeling unappreciated or like I have to conform to someone else’s likings for them to enjoy my company.

Perhaps all of this has seemed like one big speech or a sort of personal soapbox, and maybe it is, I don’t know. But, I think all of this being said, I want to issue to you a challenge. The next time you think about criticizing someone or comparing them to yourself or anything along those lines, stop and think of something you appreciate about that person. Or better yet, sit down sometime soon and write a list of the people you are closest to and begin to list the things that you admire and appreciate about them, ways that they are different from you. This is often times a good test of how well you really know a person.

I am truly grateful that God has brought these things to my attention, and I believe that with this mindset, I can really begin to know my friends and family in a much deeper way. I am daily amazed at the great differences in the people I come in contact with every single day, and while there are obviously some differences that cannot be compromised (e.g. faith in Christ and the way we as believers should live in comparison with those who are of the world), I believe all the others are worthy of celebrating the diversity of God’s creation displayed in His people.

Goodbyes: A Tribute to the Tarbuttons

I think most people would agree with me that in our lives, there are very few people who come along whom we would consider "good friends". I'm talking about those who aren't necessarily your "best friend", but perhaps "one of my best friends". They're people who you just really click with. You love spending time with them, they love spending time with you, and you almost always have an amazing time no matter what you're doing. Another great thing about these kinds of friends is that you know that they care about you. They call when somethings wrong, they'll take the time to talk to you when you need someone to listen to you. They know you well enough to know when somethings up. These people are the, for lack of a better word, default people that you hang out with. You call them first when looking for something to do. These people are very rare, and when you do find them, you hold on to them dearly and you appreciate them every time you're around them.

Well, in about a week, I'm losing not one, but two of these friends. Not losing as in they're going to die, but as in they're moving away and I won't be able to see them whenever I want to anymore. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. I moved enough times to know what it's like, but that doesn't change the fact that it still sucks. It's like Monday; you know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do to stop it. It comes faster than it should, and it still sucks just as bad as you thought it would, if not worse.

The friends I am referring to are Luke and Amelia Tarbutton. They have both been great friends since the beginning of my first semester at CFNI, about two and a half years ago. Luke recently got hired as a childrens pastor at a church in Colorado, thus they will be moving shortly after Christmas.

Luke was never my closest friend at CFNI, but a very constant friend. Always in a good mood, Luke has the ability to make anyone laugh. His humor is quick and lighthearted, almost never sarcastic (only when it's fitting). Luke and I first clicked when we learned that we were both from Georgia, him from an Atlantan suburb and I from South Central Georgia. He is an amazing piano player and teacher, and overall, one of those people who is just naturally good at anything they put their hands to. Luke is one of the few people I know who is always a joy to be around, no matter what.

Amelia I met on my second day in Dallas. Her, Ryan Schreiber, and myself spent the day hanging out around campus, and that began what would be a lasting friendship. For most of my first year at CFNI, it was always the three of us. Of course there were others, and we liked it that way, but if all else failed, Amelia, Ryan, and myself would be doing something together. Amelia became like a sister to me. No one ever thought or asked if there was anything between us because they knew that it was never like that. Amelia, although sometimes a little picky about things, whether it be what music we listen to in the car or where we go eat (okay, maybe a lot picky), has always been a pleasure to be around. She is always laughing about something, and with a laughter that is genuine and contagious. She has a self-discipline in terms of her time spent with the Lord that challenges those around her to be more devoted. She is the kind of friend who herself values her close friends and their opinions and advice. She's the kind of friend who'll even go grocery shopping with you just to be able to hang out. She's just over four months happily married to Luke Tarbutton, three months excitedly pregnant with a beautiful child, and will be an absolutely amazing mother, and Luke an exemplary father.

One of the saddest parts for me is that I didn't get to say goodbye to them before they moved. They left today for Brownsville and I will have left for Georgia by the time they get back to Dallas to pack up and move. That's mostly the reason I wrote this, because I was sad that I didn't get to see them one last time before they left and because I don't know when I'll see them again.

So this is for you, Luke and Amelia Tarbutton. You are both amazing friends and two of my favorite people alive. You are greatly loved and will be sorely missed. I pray God's grace and peace be with you as you embark on this new journey in your lives together. You will be a great addition to your new church and I'm certain you will be as appreciated there as you have been here. I love you both very much and will miss you often.

Love in Christ,

Chad Andrew Newton

New Things

Figuring out this blogspot stuff is kind of frustrating. Enough to make me not want to stick with it. I think it's just one of those things where I hate trying new things. I'd rather just stick with facebook 'cause it's easier and I already have all of my friends located. Oh well, I'll keep trying.

Days like today frustrate me. It's my one day off and it goes from sunny and 74° to crappy, rainy mess. I hate rain. It's so depressing. It makes me want to...do nothing.

Did I really just start a blog?

Well, I thought I'd be content simply posting all of my writings (i hate using the term "blog", but I suppose that's what this is) on Facebook, that is until the badgering started from my pastor and my roommate. Thanks Brent. Thanks Luke. Happy now?

Anyway, you never know what you might get from my blog, so don't try to put me in any kind of box and/or category. Please. Some things may be theological in nature, and although I do not consider myself to be much of a theologian, I love God with all of my heart and desire to know Him more, therefore the more I study His Word and the teachings about Him, I will attempt to convey my learnings, thoughts, and dare I say, opinions (Lord knows we already have enough of those floating around, but what's one more, really?) in a clear, understandable, and hopefully reader-friendly way. Other entries will undoubtedly be about simple, everyday stuff, probably stuff that I observe or experience or just want to write about. Writing is fun.

So there you have it. I will most likely transfer my previous postings from Facebook to this blog just so that I have all of my original writings in one place. Read them if you'd like. Always tell me what you think if you read anything I post. I love feedback, whether good or bad. I'll be posting again soon. Farewell.

Chad